Month: December 2016

Neubergthal woman rediscovers Wonder Oil

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Neubergthal MB

During a recent trip to Winnipeg, Rebecca Hamm who lives in the Village of Neubergthal, made an amazing discovery.

Wonder Oil is still on the market.

Gone is the rectangular glass bottle with the black metal screw top and the iconic cardboard box, but  Wonder Oil still exists.

Hamm, who is now 61, fondly remembers her grandmother Tina Wiebe (one her mother’s side of the family) who always kept a bottle or two of Wonder Oil on hand for emergencies.

“During family gatherings when it was crowded and all the kids were running around someone would always end up bumping their head or their shin”, says Hamm, .  “That’s when gramma would go in the closet and bring out the Wonder Oil  and apply it to the injured area and pretty soon the games were on again”.

Not knowing when she would run across Wonder Oil again Hamm bought four bottles.

Although it is no longer recommended for internal use, as was the case with the original Wonder Oil, its other claims are still much the same.  According to Hamm the Wonder Oil currently available smells a little different than it used to, “it has more clove oil in it than it used to”.

 

Oldest Colony Mennonite Church to ban ‘Deck the Halls’

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Vinkla, MB

In a surprize move Henry Neudorf, Elder of the ultra conservative Oldest Colony Mennonite Church announced today that the Church will ban the song ‘Deck the Halls’.

Neudorf indicated that several of the Church’s fäasenja  are offended by the lyrics and advised him that they will refuse to lead congregational singing unless the song is banned. Neudorf went on to say that banning the song was in keeping with the revisions being planned for the Mennonite Low German Dictionary that he read about recently in Spottschreft.

The banning means that not only will the song not be sung during church services but also, that members of the church are prohibited from singing or even humming the song while for example milking the cows or doing dishes.

When asked to specify what it was about the lyrics that the Church found offensive Neudorf said “its primarily the line Don we now our gay apparel.”

The ban will go into effect when it is announced to the Church’s various congregations, next Sunday.

It is not known at this time if other Mennonite Churches will follow the lead of the Oldest Old Colony Mennonite Church

Mitchell woman to market Kjielkje and Schmaunt Fat

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MITCHELL MB – Inspired by a recent post on Pinterest, Olga Davis has decided to try her hand at mass producing some Mennonite food in here kitchen.

Davis will be marketing home made kjielkje and schmaunt fat.  “Macaroni and cheese has been popular for decades and there is no indication that sales will slow down anytime soon,” said Davis.

According to Davis, kjielkje and schmaunt fat is really just the Mennonite version of Macaroni and cheese.  “It’s really the same thing, just better.”

Davis plans to sell her product as a freshly made and ready-to-serve dish.  She is also researching the the feasibility of freeze drying kjielkje and canning schmaunt fat.  This would give the product a much longer shelf life and facilitate sales beyond the rural areas around Mitchell.

Davis will also have a low fat version of the dish which will be marketed under the ‘Mennolite’ label.

Davis plans to approach the the Manitoba Department of Agriculture, Food Development Centre in Portage La Prairie to seek their endorsement prior to bringing her products to market.

When asked how someone with a name like Davis got into the Mennonite food industry, Davis replied, “don’t let the name fool you, I was born a Schellenberg.”

Rosenort man breaks silence on the “woman with tractor ad” myth

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Rosenort, MB

Walter Hoeppner of Rosenort says he is sick and tired of defending himself against accusations that he placed the “woman with tractor” ad in the Manitoba Co-operator back in  August of 1956.

The ad purportedly read as follows:

‘Farmer looking for woman with tractor, please send picture of tractor.’

“People just jumped to the wrong conclusion,” said Hoeppner.

“Back in 1957 I was looking to get married,” he said, “and I was also in the market for a tractor.  People knew that, it was no secret.”

Hoeppner says he met Olga Barkman at a Jugendverein in early September of 1957.   As luck would have it, Olga had been left a John Deere tractor and a three-bottom plough by her uncle Cornelius who died in 1955.

Walter and Olga have now been married for almost 60 years and both are adamant that it was not the ‘woman with tractor’ ad that brought them together.

“Besides that,” said Hoeppner, “look at Derk Warkentin from Blumenhof,  in 1957 he married Mary Penner who was a widow and she came with a whole line of farm machinery, not just a tractor.  Has anyone ever asked Derk and Mary how they met?!”

It is unfortunate that no one has come up with a copy of the original issue of the  Co-Operator as no doubt it would have listed a box number.

One China Policy not an issue for Halbstadt man

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Halbstadt, Mb

Local Halbstadt farmer Trock Heinrichs says he is not concerned about America’s one China policy.

Heinrichs indicated that as far as he is concerned things that happen on Jantsied, like the recent gay pride parade in Steinbach, have little effect on people living on Ditsied and China is even further away than Steinbach.

When asked about his first name, Heinrichs who declined to be photographed said because he drives a half ton and has never owned a car  people in the area started calling him Trock and it just kind of stuck.  His actual given name is Corny.

Heinrichs did agree to have his truck photographed.

Mennonite Low German Dictionary to be revised

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Eminent Mennonite scholar and historian Victor Enns has announced that he is heading a project team with the goal of rewriting the Mennonite Low German Dictionary, in keeping with the principles of Newspeak.

Newspeak, and adaption of the English language first proposed by George Orwell in his novel 1984, stresses the elimination of words from the language.

According to Enns people formulate thoughts based on words.  If the words do not exist, thoughts cannot be formulated.

Enns believes that by eliminating certain words and phrases from the Plautdietsch vocabulary, thought patterns, discourse and most importantly beliefs can be altered in keeping with Mennonite theology.

First to be eliminated from the dictionary are the phrase   ‘wann twee Maunslied dijchta fekyea habe’,  and the word ‘jungesschenda’.  (see translation page)

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