Oldest Colony Mennonite Church to ban ‘Deck the Halls’

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Vinkla, MB

In a surprize move Henry Neudorf, Elder of the ultra conservative Oldest Colony Mennonite Church announced today that the Church will ban the song ‘Deck the Halls’.

Neudorf indicated that several of the Church’s fäasenja  are offended by the lyrics and advised him that they will refuse to lead congregational singing unless the song is banned. Neudorf went on to say that banning the song was in keeping with the revisions being planned for the Mennonite Low German Dictionary that he read about recently in Spottschreft.

The banning means that not only will the song not be sung during church services but also, that members of the church are prohibited from singing or even humming the song while for example milking the cows or doing dishes.

When asked to specify what it was about the lyrics that the Church found offensive Neudorf said “its primarily the line Don we now our gay apparel.”

The ban will go into effect when it is announced to the Church’s various congregations, next Sunday.

It is not known at this time if other Mennonite Churches will follow the lead of the Oldest Old Colony Mennonite Church

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Right to bare arms not supported by all

A recent post by the Daily Bonnet which depicted a young woman with bare arms, claimed that American Mennonites who dress in that manner are simply exercising their right under the 2nd Amendment.

However not all Mennonites are in agreement.

Elder Peter Siemens, head of the Sommerfelder Church in Bolivia was quick to react.  “I think it is shameful, bare arms, no head covering and smiling yet even,” said Siemens.

When asked if he felt that the photo in the Daily Bonnet could have a  potential  negative influence on his congregation in Bolivia Siemens indicated that was unlikely, “We don’t have the Internet here and we are not planning on getting it either so the chances of anyone down here seeing that are remote”.

When asked about his understanding of how the Internet worked Siemens said, “I saw it once when I was in Asuncion, Paraguay  and it was not good, not good.”

Siemens went on to say that he will do whatever he can to protect his congregation from the Internet and other similar modern evil influences.  He concluded with, “We did not leave Canada to go to Mexico, and then on to Paraguay and finally to Bolivia only to let that happen to us.”

The interview with Siemens was conducted via cell phone.