Introducing the W95 Mask

Does the mask you are being asked to wear cause you discomfort? Does it chaff your nose and prevent you from breathing freely? Winkler area resident Frank F (last name being withheld to prevent hate mail from vaxxers) has come up with a solution. In a recent interview with Spottschreft Mr. F indicated “the simplest solution is often the best solution” and according to Mr. F he has devised a new mask that addresses all the comfort issues related to traditional masks. He is calling the mask the W95 (the W identifying it as having been make locally in Winkler). Mr. F indicated that he will be producing the masks in his backyard workshop and is hopeful they will be on retailers shelves by early next week. Mr. F indicated he is hoping retailers will put his new mask right next to their display of Ivermectin and other pandemic supplies for ease of shopping.

Mr. F declined to be photographed. The photo below is a prototype of the W95 worn by an actor not a real person.

Neubergthal woman rediscovers Wonder Oil

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Neubergthal MB

During a recent trip to Winnipeg, Rebecca Hamm who lives in the Village of Neubergthal, made an amazing discovery.

Wonder Oil is still on the market.

Gone is the rectangular glass bottle with the black metal screw top and the iconic cardboard box, but  Wonder Oil still exists.

Hamm, who is now 61, fondly remembers her grandmother Tina Wiebe (one her mother’s side of the family) who always kept a bottle or two of Wonder Oil on hand for emergencies.

“During family gatherings when it was crowded and all the kids were running around someone would always end up bumping their head or their shin”, says Hamm, .  “That’s when gramma would go in the closet and bring out the Wonder Oil  and apply it to the injured area and pretty soon the games were on again”.

Not knowing when she would run across Wonder Oil again Hamm bought four bottles.

Although it is no longer recommended for internal use, as was the case with the original Wonder Oil, its other claims are still much the same.  According to Hamm the Wonder Oil currently available smells a little different than it used to, “it has more clove oil in it than it used to”.

 

Was that Loewen-Friesen or Friesen-Loewen

How long is too long?     

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Photo Credit: nastya_geep (Pixabay.com)

STEINBACH Mb

On April 1st 1950  Jacob Loewen-Friesen married Elizabeth Schellenberg-Janzen.

Their first child, a male child, was named  Herbert Schellenberg-Janzen-Loewen-Friesen.

Herbert gew up to be a fine young man and on April 2nd, 1971 he was married to Margaret Gerbrandt-Giesbrecht-Toews-Petkau.

A year later Margaret gave birth to their first child, a 9 pound 7 ounce boy.

Herbert and Margaret named their first son Alexander Gerbrandt-Giesbrecht-Toews-Petkau-Schellenberg-Janzen-Loewen-Friesen.

Alexander grew up and fell madly in love with Frances Dueck-Wiebe-Klassen-Voth-Kehler-Ginter-Dyck-Hiebert.

Alexander and Frances quickly realized that the Mennonite tradition of hyphenated surnames would result in their children having the surname:

Dueck-Wiebe Klassen-Voth -Kehler-Ginter-Dyck-Hiebert-Gerbrandt-Giesbrecht-Toews-Petkau-Shellenber-Janzen-Loween-Friesen. 

Not wishing to burden their children with such a bothersome moniker Alexander and Frances  decided to abandon Mennonite tradition and legally changed their names to Smith.

The extended hyphenated surname was becoming too much like a Mennonite alphabet, noted the Smiths.

No good reason to not vote for Friesen

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HASKETT Mb – After several unsuccessful attempts area  farmer Albert Friesen was elected as Councillor for the south ward in the Rural Municipality of Stantly.

Friesen had stood for election four times previously without success.

In a recent interview with Spottschreft, Friesen indicated that in his past attempts he had tried to convince voters he was the right choice by outlining his accomplishments and stressing his leadership abilities.  According to Friesen, none of that seemed to matter to voters.

When asked what he had done differently  during the most  recent election campaign Friesen indicated that he had tried to pattern his campaign on the approach taken by Donald Trump, the US President elect.  When pressed for specifics Friesen stated:   “I came up with a really catchy slogan and apart from the slogan I just talked about generalities”.

The slogan that propelled Friesen info office was, “No good reason to not vote for Friesen”.

Friesen who garnered 27 votes outdistanced his opponent,  Wilf Penner, by 11 votes.

Penner was not available for comment but his agent Gord Warkentin expressed  some concerns:  “Our exit polls indicated that there were an awful lot of Friesens voting in this election.”

 

Right to bare arms not supported by all

A recent post by the Daily Bonnet which depicted a young woman with bare arms, claimed that American Mennonites who dress in that manner are simply exercising their right under the 2nd Amendment.

However not all Mennonites are in agreement.

Elder Peter Siemens, head of the Sommerfelder Church in Bolivia was quick to react.  “I think it is shameful, bare arms, no head covering and smiling yet even,” said Siemens.

When asked if he felt that the photo in the Daily Bonnet could have a  potential  negative influence on his congregation in Bolivia Siemens indicated that was unlikely, “We don’t have the Internet here and we are not planning on getting it either so the chances of anyone down here seeing that are remote”.

When asked about his understanding of how the Internet worked Siemens said, “I saw it once when I was in Asuncion, Paraguay  and it was not good, not good.”

Siemens went on to say that he will do whatever he can to protect his congregation from the Internet and other similar modern evil influences.  He concluded with, “We did not leave Canada to go to Mexico, and then on to Paraguay and finally to Bolivia only to let that happen to us.”

The interview with Siemens was conducted via cell phone.

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